


Hello Grief, My Old Friend

by EffortlesslyUncool



Series: Petals and Piano Keys ~ Aerith/Tifa Appreciation 2018 [5]
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Aerti Week 2018, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon and i - we're not friends, Canonical Character Death, F/F, Fuck you square, Grief/Mourning, Petals and Piano Keys, Suicidal Thoughts, i hate myself now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 23:05:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15783957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EffortlesslyUncool/pseuds/EffortlesslyUncool
Summary: All she could do was stare at her battered old boots in hopes of keeping herself together.





	Hello Grief, My Old Friend

**Author's Note:**

> August 24: Oblivescence: the act or the process of forgetting.

She really doesn't remember much about Her send off, as she looks around at the silent, tear-stained faces trudging out of the Forgotten City around her. Tifa fought hard to will the tears away. Dug deep to not let a single tear fall as her throat burned with the desire of her heart to sob right along with Yuffie. All she could do was stare at her battered old boots in hopes of keeping herself together.

She barely listened to the words Cloud had chosen for her. Soon, She would be on the bottom of the lake. The last of a dying race; The Last Cetra.

Her love.

She knew there was no way she would be able to make it long without breaking apart. She couldn’t stomach the thought of setting up the tent, of checking in at a new inn - in another new town - without Her being there. Thoughts of never seeing the Flower Girl waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs so that they could go exploring a new place ever again made her feel sick. This was Her dream.

All hope of staying strong vanished when Cloud's hand found hers. What should have been comforting felt like a hot iron rubbing against her skin. She looked at Barret and Cid, shaking her head slightly as the first tear broke past it’s levee and slid down her cheek.

She'd slipped away in the night. Hidden under the cloak of darkness to do the bidding of the Planet. She'd been so afraid to tell Tifa about the voices she heard, so scared of Tifa's opinion of this weird ability of hers. It all seems puerile now. She had Tifa at "Hello".

Ignoring those calling out for her and choked sobs from the group, she took off. Snatched her hand free from Cloud's. She didn’t look back, she couldn’t. His touch burned the image of him releasing Her into the water into Tifa's eyelids as another tear stung her battle scarred skin. She recognized her foolishness, her naivety and mistake of wanting to believe so much that they'd all make it through this alive and together. 

Tifa collapsed when she reached a clearing in the Forrest, falling to her knees at an embankment.

She has been here before. After the plate over Sector 7 was dropped, after Nibelheim.

ShinRa and Sephiroth, again, to blame.

Maybe tomorrow, she'll wake up and this will have been another one of her nightmares. 

But then again, She'd held Tifa in times like this. A couple of weeks ago, Her arms were the protection she needed to ward her demons out of her sleep following the discovery that Nibelheim was still standing.

Maybe there is no tomorrow. There's a river that feeds the lake close by, and sounds like it's carrying a volume of water. Get in, and allow the current to take her.

Tifa knew one thing for certain. The familiar sinking sensation told her that her heart was going under. She couldn’t help but think of how different it could have been if they'd noticed Her absence sooner, if Tifa had only thrown herself from the ledge as Masamune sliced the air, and knocked Her out of the way. If they had found Her sooner.

Nothing about this was fair, She was too young and far too good. She was someone special to each one of her comrades.

She thought of herself, how the only person she'd ever truly loved had loved her in return.

It was too much for her to handle and her tears flowed freely as the grief washed over her. Shaking, bloodied hands loosened the buckler on her left elbow and she all but ripped her compression bands from her exhausted arms, throwing them in the mud beside her. Angry and rough, she scaped the caked dirt and tears out of her eyes in vain. The droplets kept forming, and falling.

Sitting fully on the ground she pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them. Screaming into the night sky would do nothing. No one is listening to her beg into the void of space above. When people die, they can't come back. Another reality she'd have to live with and no soap on Gaia strong enough to cleanse her of the sense of guilt that she'd been so keen to encourage Her to leave Midgar with them. 

She heard the soft footfalls through soggy leaves behind her and for a split second, she hoped for her wishes to be true, for it to be Her.

Instead, it was Cloud who knelt next to her, placing a heavy hand on her shoulder. 

A glimpse at the man’s bloodshot eyes bid her to come undone once again. She's never seen his electric blue eyes look so haunted, so empty. There's a rage inside of her reserved for Cloud and his ties to ShinRa and Sephiroth; his new biology complicating matters and her lack of forgiveness for... _everything._  Still, she sees the young and awkward boy in those mako stained eyes and he is hurting too - clothes wet and shivering. She finds strength from somewhere enough to stand; drained, they're all they have to keep each other from crumbling. 

The last time, AVALANCHE pulled her through. Her involvement seemed to work well enough as a coping mechanism back then. Their mission is unfinished; Sephiroth is out there and Jenova is free. She'll focus on retribution first. Aerith didn't like seeing her cry anyway.

 


End file.
